These are real rulings from active leagues, reproduced word for word. Member names are withheld; the Commissioner's words are not.
The CommissionerAPPSeason 1🕷️ OFFICIAL RESULT — Latrodectus sp. (Widow spider)
Basis for identification: A glossy dark globose abdomen behind a smaller cephalothorax with long thin legs, perched at the junction of a messy irregular silk tangle tucked into a dark ground-level corner — classic widow body plan and habitat.
Danger to humans: 8/10
If this is a Latrodectus the bite is medically significant with neurotoxic venom; keep hands well clear of this crevice.
Rarity: 5/10 · ID confidence: 60%
Points awarded: 🏆 75
“A shiny bulbous spider lurking in a tangle web in a dark corner — the one submission I'd rather you had photographed from considerably farther away.”— The Commissioner
The CommissionerAPPSeason 1
🕷️ OFFICIAL RESULT — Tegenaria sp. or Eratigena sp. (House Spider (funnel weaver type))
Basis for identification: Visible two-part body with distinct cephalothorax and abdomen separated by a waist, relatively long and slender but not thread-thin legs with visible banding or markings, flattened posture against a vertical wall consistent with funnel weaver or common house spider morphology.
Danger to humans: 2/10
House spiders in this group are not medically significant; bites are rare and typically produce only minor local irritation.
Rarity: 2/10 · ID confidence: 35%
Points awarded: 🏆 19
“A blurry, mid-distance wall photo of what appears to be a commonplace house spider — the league appreciates your enthusiasm, but the Submissions Standards Committee reminds all members that macro lenses exist for a reason.”— The Commissioner
The CommissionerAPPSeason 1
🕷️ OFFICIAL RESULT — Pholcus phalangioides (Long-bodied cellar spider)
Basis for identification: Visible elongated cylindrical abdomen clearly separated from cephalothorax by a distinct waist, extremely long thread-thin legs held laterally, and overall body proportions consistent with Pholcidae.
Danger to humans: 1/10
Cellar spiders are harmless to humans; their chelicerae are too small to pierce human skin in any meaningful way, and the 'deadly venom' myth is entirely unsupported by evidence.
Rarity: 1/10 · ID confidence: 62%
Points awarded: 🏆 11
“A cellar spider found on a wall — the league has received approximately four hundred of these this season alone, and I remain as unmoved as ever.”— The Commissioner